The Opera of Life

I recently went to the Opera with the bearded friend and was happy to see that 19th Century musical theater is still alive and well in the 21st century. It was particularly great people watching as the average opera patron is near 70 years old. It was almost impossible to count the number of Stuart Weitzman and Ferragamo low heeled pumps I saw, but they all pretty much resembled these to the right. This was still a vast improvement over what the rest of the younger set was wearing which ranged from full on floor length gowns to the always a mistake black bra with white dress. It has been awhile since I've done a post on fashion, but thought it might be time for another featuring highlights from the Opera:

1. A black bra should only be worn when wearing black or a color that is so dark it is indiscernible from black except under the most extreme lighting situations.

2. Strapless bras were invented for a reason, please utilize them whenever your bra straps would be otherwise visible. Yes, that includes if they match or (God forbid) are clear, and no just because Carrie Bradshaw always had her's showing does it make it okay.

3. Purses should at least be in the same realm of the outfit, for example if wearing an evening outfit, the purse should be equally evening-esque. This means exceedingly large work purses, shrunken backpacks and fanny packs need not apply.

4. Wear only as high of heel as you can actually walk in without looking like you're in extreme pain or about to eat it.

5. Men: please wear pants that allow for your belly to be placed within the confines of your pants.

6. As with #3, wraps/sweaters/coats worn to an evening event should match the occasion, please leave the track jacket in the car and freeze if necessary.

7. Jeans to a Saturday evening performance of the Opera is poor form, even in L.A.

8. Taking off your shoes is never an option, please refer to #4 if your feet are in pain.

9. Open-toed shoes require clean and groomed toenails, and at minimum some clear polish.

10. And finally, if leg will be shown, please choose either stockings or a fresh shave for the rest of us who might have to sit next to you and accidentally brush across you as we scoot to our seats.