Wednesday, July 2, 2008

My New Job Goal

So I used to think it might be cool to play for the Dodgers making millions. I mean I don't really need to play, look at our one game wonder, Jason Schmidt, who is getting paid $47 million to recuperate. (Check out this harsh, but true critique of my boys in blue.) But seeing as I quit softball in 9th grade, that isn't much of an option.

Well how about actress? They seem to make quite a lot of money despite horrible movies. Reese Witherspoon makes $15-20 million per movie. I'm sure I could pull off ditzy blonde in law school for at least Legally Blonde 3, 4 and 5. But then again, I don't know how qualified I am to do that either.

I've got it, I will become a talk show radio host! Rush Limbaugh is being paid $400 million over the next 8 years. Far more than Schmidt or Witherspoon. The exertion level is pretty low, all one needs to have is a mic, a really annoying voice, and a point of view to champion while making several baseless accusations about the other side. It can't be that hard right? No research needs to be done on the facts, and you can even take some time off to get addicted to drugs and come right back. As long as you have a top law firm retained for slander lawsuits, you're set.

I have to admit prior to starting my career I will have to actually try and sit through some talk radio. I tend to listen mostly to NPR in my car and as far as print news/information rely on the NYTimes and the WSJ. I attempted the other day to make it through an entire segment of a popular libertarian/conservative radio talk show, but was forced to turn it off for fear of instant migraine. I find it amazing how popular these shows are. Why waste your precious time listening to one or two persons very slanted, and narrow view of the world? Wouldn't your time be better served listening to both sides and making your own decisions? I have difficulty dealing with any extreme point of view, because neither of those sides really want anything to change or get better, what they want to do is complain.

I must look for an extreme position to start sending out to radio stations here. How about vegans should be force-fed eggs, because its un-American or homeless people should be sent to Europe to deal with the loss of population there? Any other suggestions?

4 comments:

betsey said...

You know you are going to get some coo-coo crazies visiting you blog now--people who actually believe homeless people should be shipped to Europe. They are going to google it and come up with you :) Watch out :)

You have to get your own issue...you know? Some people focus on immigration, others gay rights etc. I think that you should make transportation your issue of choice. You are already interested in it, so why not just take it to the extreme! Everyone has to ride bikes or on the other hand, we should be building freeways everywhere.

betsey said...

But I still think you might have a shot with the Dodgers :)

Revive Santa Ana! said...

AM 640 The John and Ken Show...I can't get enough!

Jess said...

Yes you're right Betsey...I am starting my own campaign to force everyone to take the bus! And I'll do this forcing by increasing parking prices in LA until they're astronomical. We can use all that unnecessary parking space for community gardens! :)